Strapping on the Feed Bag

Some of you who are as frustrated as I am sincerely want to know how we fix this. And some of you who are upset with me want to say, “Okay, Mr. Smarty Pants, if you think it’s broken—and I’m not saying it is—how are you going to fix it?” To both of you I would say, “I don’t know. Do you have any suggestions?”

With that being said, I do have a couple of ideas that we might try, as well as some kudos for the good things we do.

Let’s start with the kudos. Although I am not a big fan of short term missions trips (I will elaborate on that elsewhere), I do think that any exposure our kids get outside the walls of our churches is a plus. Whether it’s across town or half way around the globe, the experience of seeing the world through the eyes of the homeless man or the third world child is life-changing.

I do think that it is important to try and replicate and repeatedly perform these kinds of activities on a regular basis right here at home. For fledgling faith, mission trips are often like trying to drink from a fire hose. No wonder our kids come back from such outings all fired up! Unfortunately that furor fades quickly when nothing back home commands their attention and demands their hard work like being “on mission.”

Secondly, there is no doubt that our kids, of all ages, are given excellent instruction. If a kid will pay attention, he or she will learn so much about the Bible and about God from the strong teaching that they receive. Knowledge is a very good thing. Unfortunately, unlike knowledge, discipleship is not learned in a classroom or a church sanctuary. Discipleship comes from doing life together. We will save that discussion for later also.

Now, before I enumerate any ideas of my own, let me state that I think it is important that we first consider something. If we believe this, then the church should both teach and equip parents to be the primary source in the spiritual formation of their own children. And, I believe that in addition to teaching youth pastors how to be relevant to kids, our universities and Bible schools should be strategizing as to the methods to end the exsanguination of our young adults. But that must begin when they are young and proceed throughout their school years.

However, for any changes to work it would take a complete paradigm shift from the lead pastor to the parents to the earliest children’s workers. It would have to be taught from the “pulpit” and bought into by Mom and Dad. And first of all, Mom and Dad would have to buy into the idea of taking responsibility for their own discipleship, let alone for the discipleship of their kids. If you have ever heard anyone leave a church saying, “We just aren’t being fed,” then you know why we are in trouble.

I guess it’s weird that I started feeding myself as a toddler. What’s ever weirder is that I started in my teen years to question everything I had ever been taught. I tried to dig it out of the Bible for myself. But for some people, I guess their view of church is strolling in and strapping on the old feed bag.

Next we will examine some new ideas for accomplishing our purposes.

Fork in the Road

This question of clarification regarding our inability to reach anyone over the age of 14, may not be as earth-shattering for some of you as it was to me. But then, I have a lot of years invested in the whole go-for-the-kids routine. And during all those years I never questioned it. In fact, I jumped headlong into it. It seemed to me that it was working.

Until I ran into another statistic.

Some of you are acquainted with this stat also. You may have discussed it in your staff meetings or over Sunday lunch. Or maybe you have never heard anyone say it, but you have observed it and pondered in the corners of your mind. Churches and denominations of all descriptions have had crisis team meetings at the highest levels about it. And, considering “The (85/14) Great Statistic” of the last 50 years, it is devastating. Here it is.

More than half of the kids who were raised in church will walk away from the church within ten years of their high school graduation.

I have heard and read figures that as low as 58% and as high as 80% of the young adults who were “churched” as youth and children will walk away in that ten year time frame. And Barna researcher David Kinnaman says that only 20% of those twenty-somethings will maintain a spiritual activity that is consistent with their high school involvement.

What is the church’s answer to that? The answer so far has been similar to their response she had toward kids over the last 50 years. Let’s hire a professional. If they could afford it, churches decided the answer to that problem was to beef up college and young adult ministries by hiring specialists who would concentrate on that demographic. But it hasn’t changed. The bleeding continues.

Now, I don’t want to sound insensitive, and as I said before I am not a researcher—just an observer. But what I have seen makes me suspicious. Too often the church’s “bigger is better” mentality has put her at odds with real ministry. What I mean by “at odds” is the mindset that a professional will do a better job than existing parents or leaders from within. Plus, with bigger churches we have more money to throw at it. Let’s face it; money is less painful than our personal involvement. (Check out my friend’s book that addresses some of this.)

So, let’s summarize. First, there is little doubt that at some point in the middle of the last century, the church came to a fork in the road. On the one hand, I can see now the wisdom of asking ourselves, “What would it take to reach more adults?” Hindsight is crystal. But instead, we opted for the kid plan. And, deciding which road to take was perhaps as simple as going with what must have seemed like the right road at the time. But I can’t help wondering if, when we saw two paths diverging into the woods of eternity, we decided to take the easier route.

Secondly, we now stand in the road at another fork. But this predicament seems to be a more serious decision than the choice of two equally valid options. This one actually feels more like we are standing out on a ledge. And the wrong step could be catastrophic. If she blows it this time, I fear the American church could be plunging into a swirling vortex of obscurity.

Not Your Grandpa’s Church

Start a church? Really? Had I ever thought about it? Well, not out loud, but certainly I had dreamed. Maybe a better word is fantasized. However, over the years I had developed quite a stack of concerns about the modern church. Those concerns were magnified in the years I spent teaching ministerial candidates in the study center sponsored by the church. Then layer on top of that all the questions spawned by the tornado and then the subversive stuff Earl had given to me to read.
I knew one thing for sure: Tulsa didn’t need another church. There’s already one on almost every street corner, and another one pops up about every other week or so. They are as numerous and prolific as roaches.
That, despite the fact that the church in Oklahoma and across America hasn’t been growing for dozens of years. We’ve just been passing around the same people among us. Why would I want to build a church out of somebody else’s rejects? People who are disgruntled in one place will still be disgruntled when they show up at your place.
While we’re talking about shuffling people, Tulsa is the biggest of culprits. One preacher has a new revelation and builds up a big following. But then he can’t keep it in his pants, so another “man of the hour” comes along until he gets a wandering eye or an old skeleton knocks on his office door.
And church in Tulsa is big business—big names, big buildings, and big money. The smorgasbord of programs, groups, and activities makes the local churches without a doubt the largest providers of consumer services in the state. Church has become a pay-as-you-go, consumer-driven enterprise where money changes hands in exchange for “services rendered.” And those consumers (called members) have expectations.
And those expectations begin with: church is supposed to be the place where the God-stuff gets done. Where our children and youth are supposed to get discipled so we, their parents, don’t have to do it. Us too, for that matter. Disciple me so I don’t have to do that myself either.
Oh and, we need a place to discover and exercise our “gifts.” Especially the ones that the “world” can’t seem to appreciate. We need a place where we can be suckled and be healed and find meaning and purpose. And if we don’t feel we’re getting our money’s worth, we can move on claiming we weren’t being fed.
After I pondered all of this—all things I had experienced or witnessed—I concluded that if I was nuts enough to go through with it, there would have to be a major paradigm shift. Not just in the thinking but in our whole approach to “doing church.” If we decided to do it, it would not be; it could not be my grandpa’s church.